I have one sibling, an older sister a couple years my senior. Other than us having the same parents, we really don’t have much in common. She is most parents wet dream. I don’t hate on her at all. She came to see me in jail and has always held a fair and compassionate stance towards what I have gone through. We are, however, two completely different types of people. For one thing, I never understood how she was able to sit down at a table and study for hours on end. I could never sit still for more than 20 minutes. I also don’t ever recall my sister getting a B on her report card. Like… ever. Her and I were pretty close growing up. No serious fights or conflict. We watched a LOT of tv and movies together. My dads job always moved us around every couple of years so we were one of the few constants in each other’s lives. She graduated with honors and went on to an Ivy League university and then med school and became a Doctor. Never got in any kind of trouble at school, never stepped out of line at all.

Growing up I wasn’t much of a trouble maker. I got detention once in elementary school and felt terrible about it. My dad yelled at me which scared me and I decided I wouldn’t get in trouble again after that. I was never suspended or in detention again. I did OK in school but cared more about girls and friends than grades. I was, and always have been… fidgety. As I write this now I’m sitting at a table and my knee is bouncing up and down quickly. Lol, when I really concentrate my tongue sticks out the side of my mouth. But for some reason I rarely ever stop moving. I used to get in so much trouble tapping my pencil out to beats and spinning binders on my finger. I was a drummer in the high school band and also wrestled. I was average to below average at both. I did it more to hang out with my friends than the pursuit of musicianship or athleticism. I left high school with a 3.4 and 1170 on my SATs.

Drugs did not play a prominent role in my life until college. I went to a small, private, and very expensive liberal arts university. I joined a fraternity first semester freshman year and came back with a 1.7 GPA. I went in with AP credits and jumped right in to sophomore level courses including an 8:30 AM Chemistry class that kicked my ass. This was the first time it occurred to me that no matter what I did, I could never sit down and study for more than 20-30 minutes like the other kids seemed to do so effortlessly. My dad was PISSED. I’m surprised they sent me back.  After a stern talking to and some yelling it sunk in that I was wasting my parents money.  I decided to put more effort in and do what I could to not let them down.  I changed my major to business, and went back motivated to get better grades.